Tutorial 8:
Identify a wire service that you’re usually consuming stories from and select one story that captures your attention.
Read the story, then identify the copy mistakes, tell the reason for change and suggest the correct version.
Show the raw copy and highlight the edited part in the story.
'Aunt with no kids': The women redefining family roles by BBC
Copy Mistakes | Reason For Change | Correct Version |
While she was “never in a position that it made sense” to have children herself…… Sotirin says there are “lots of different ways of 'doing aunting’” (Highlight in Blue) | Apostrophe is not needed for this kind of paragraph since that its doesn’t really affect the sentence. | While she was never in a position that it made sense to have children herself… Sotirin says there are lots of different ways of 'doing aunting’ |
“I sometimes describe it as my brothers have reproduced very successfully on my behalf,” jokes Caroline, a forensic psychologist who lives in Shoreham-by-Sea in southern England. “I’ve got all these lovely kids around who I really enjoy spending time with, and I haven’t had to give birth or have sleepless nights.” Caroline, whose surname is being withheld to protect the children's privacy, relishes the time she spends with her nieces and nephews, and feels she has a tangible connection to the next generation through them. (Highlight in Yellow) | Too many information in one paragraph that can be separate to two or more paragraph. | “I sometimes describe it as my brothers have reproduced very successfully on my behalf,” jokes Caroline, a forensic psychologist who lives in Shoreham-by-Sea in southern England. “I’ve got all these lovely kids around who I really enjoy spending time with, and I haven’t had to give birth or have sleepless nights.” Caroline, whose surname is being withheld to protect the children's privacy, relishes the time she spends with her nieces and nephews, and feels she has a tangible connection to the next generation through them. |
…or the worldly eccentric like Aunt Augusta in Graham Greene's Travels with my Aunt, (Highlight in Red) | Its too Sudden that became the point of view of the child that used the word “my” without any sign of quotations such as " ". So can be change to third person view. | …or the worldly eccentric like Aunt Augusta in Graham Greene's Travels with her Aunt, |
US (Highlight in Purple) | Short form shouldn’t be use if the full form didn’t mentioned about its before even though we known about its but need to care for every reader. | United States (US) |
As an adoring aunt without children myself…..and recognise aunthood for the rewarding, socially beneficial and even transgressive role it can be. (Highlight in Green) | Apostrophe should used for quotation and added by who so show this is a quotation from the interviewee. | “As an adoring aunt without children myself…..and recognise aunthood for the rewarding, socially beneficial and even transgressive role it can be,” Patricia says. |
…. This also means the role aunts – and indeed uncles – play in society and families … (Highlight in Pink) | Dashes can be used to emphasize a parenthetical element or used after a series or list of appositives but in this paragraph dashes used with the word “and” are quite similar elements. | …. This also means the role aunts and indeed uncles play in society and families … |
Notkin, now 52, says as … (Highlight in Orange) | Usually news is timeliness so that now can be not mentioned that reader know that is happen now. | Notkin, 52, says as … |
She came up with the acronym Pank: Professional Aunt No Kids. (Highlight in Gray) | According to the website, Pank should be in capital letters for all alphabets. | She came up with the acronym PANK: Professional Aunt No Kids |
She says, “It almost feels … (Highlight in Brown) | After comma, should be lowercase. | She says, “it almost feels … |
The raw copy and highlight the edited part in the story.
Download the news:
Comments